Unsolicited

I wrote this for my daughter who was horrified and terribly embarrassed to open a message from a boy whilst sat at the boxing day dinner table and be greeted with a picture of his nob. They weren’t going out, she didn’t fancy him. Luckily nanny and her young cousins didn’t see.

Unsolicited

I might know you in person
Or perhaps we’ve never met
We have a bit of a laugh online
I enjoy talking every chance we get

I want to get better acquainted
Learn about your interests
But if you want to show me your manhood
We’re definitely not at that stage yet

So, send me roses, send me smiles
Send me jokes or funny chats
Send me pictures of your forehead
For god’s sake don’t send me pics of that.

You may be a real adonis
Or a truly gorgeous hunk
So woo me with your wit
And not unwanted photos of your junk

It’s not easy to snag a lady
It requires a certain prowess,
You may not know what steps to take
That are guaranteed to impress

When you can’t work out your next move
If you’ve got nothing to say
Don’t share a picture of your dick with me
And assume that that’s OK

IT’S JUST NOT!