I have always thought that a house without animals in it feels somewhat sterile and less homely. I grew up in a home with dogs, a cat, rats (tame ones), hamsters, mice, a rabbit, goldfish and a guinea pig (not all at once I have to add).
As an adult, I also wanted to enjoy the benefits of pet ownership. I wanted my children to have companions, they nagged me for them too. There is no denying that pets are a huge commitment and, when choosing to home an animal, you actively decide to curtail and limit other activities that you could do with your time.
We are quite a busy family, my children play sports and so when my old Staffordshire Bull terrier passed away at a grand old age (just shy of 15) we didn’t feel we could dedicate the time to a new puppy. We got 2 sibling kittens from the rescue centre and they turned out to be the perfect pets for us. They are not too adventurous, they go out but not for too long each day and they love cuddles. We were very content with our choice and on the days when we had sporting commitments we knew that they had each other and grandparents are just round the corner.
Lockdown came and it was at that point that my daughter started to nag us for a puppy. We were walking a lot (still are) and every person we encountered with a dog made her repeat the same mantra. ‘I want a dog, can we have a dog?’ Initially I refused and reasoned that it wouldn’t suit us but as the weeks went past and she continued to go on about it my resolve began to weaken.
I reviewed our situation; things had changed. My children are both now in their late teens and following college or university timetables. My husband is now working from home and is unlikely to return to the office full time. I work locally and can pop home at lunch if necessary. We have family within a 2 minute walk of our house.
I talked with my daughter and explained that if we got a dog then there may be occasions when she is invited to play sports and we will have to turn it down. The dog will become the priority. I needed her to have that reality check and fully understand what it was she wanted to sign us up for. She still wanted the dog.
We took the plunge. We have a crazy, tiny cross breed who is part Pug, part Jack Russell and half Chihuahua. Today is her first birthday. She’s cuddled up on my bed with me at this precise moment and I simply couldn’t imagine life without her. I have written a poem to celebrate today.
Happy First or Seventh Birthday
Happy first or seventh Birthday
to the pint-sized thief with a strange appetite.
The hoover and collector of twigs and stones
Or wrappers, dirty socks – even smelly tights
Our furry lap warmer, occasional scarf
Wannabe feline. Completely daft!
Piggyback rider and nuisance to the cats
Heartbeat of the family and so much more than that.
A reason to go out each day
Our pelted therapist and shrink
A distraction from life’s ups and downs
Making the longest year zoom past in a blink
Cutely annoying, sneaky yet sweet
She keeps us on our toes
She’s vexxed, charmed, worried and loved us into being
If I die a good death, will the last thing I see flashing through the depths of my waning mind be the top ten moments in my effervescent life? Fair rides, Christmases and New Year’s Eves, parties, festivals and riotous revelry. Favourite meals and savouring the juiciest red wines.
Should I die a sickly death, will my mother materialise To stroke my hair attentively and lay cool flannels on my burning brow? Will I revisit the sterile clinics and wards that once treated me? Before I am taken down, free from fear of maladies and germs, having finally achieved complete immunity.
What if I die a gruesome death, Will I remember the night when I was followed home? Or the day when I fell in the park; smashing up my arm and knee? Will my slow walk to the distant passing place be guided through the gloomiest, shadowy lanes with Freddy Krueger for my only company?
I may well die an unusual death – trapped in the airing cupboard Or choking on a dragonfly as I call to my long-lost lover who I spot across the street Would this cause my head to wildly spin at life’s anomalies? Like when I met an angel brandishing a fully loaded gun, who helpfully confided it would be wise for me to run, if anything should kick off in our vicinity.
And if I suffer an untimely death, will I picture my bucket list? And feel sadness for wishes unfulfilled. The items left unchecked. Will the pages of the brochure, heavily thumbed but nothing booked, Lay open in my thoughts for that fleeting eternity until I succumb to the sense of my own regret?
I want to die a first-rate death Wrapped in the warm blankets of my accomplishments, Sporting a sense of true belonging and the loftiest of pride. Having enjoyed an ample share of the vicissitudes of life. Feeling no need to wade out into the sea of final thoughts, as my loyal friends and loved ones stand stoically at my side.
Tomorrow (March 8th) is International Women’s Day. Some may bemoan this day and ask ‘When is International Men’s Day?’
Why do we need to have special days that only celebrate women? Are men not important? The answer to the last question is of course yes, men are important. They are equally as important as women however, since the beginning of humanity, they have been regarded as the more important sex. Even today, in so many cultures, men enjoy more opportunity and choice than their female counterparts. In many places women remain without a voice and are subjugated and subordinate to men.
In my part of the world, women’s rights have progressed. We are generally thought of as equal and yet the gender pay gap exists. So there is work still to be done.
I have written this poem to celebrate women and remind all of us that we should seize every opportunity given to us, keep fighting to prove our worth and work to initiate change in countries in which women have an inferior standing to that of men.
I had planned to post twice this week. I am a list maker, something I learnt from my mother. I find lists enabling and love seeing the items being ticked off one by one, evidencing my achievements (however small).
I find that lists provide me with a feeling of direction. In addition, a well-written list will counteract the unreliability of my short-term memory and so I use them frequently.
The downside of this habit is that the items left unchecked can sometimes leave me with a nagging feeling of inadequacy; of having failed myself in some small way. Therefore, I have learnt to rationalise. The list is just an aide memoire, the items on it are things I hope to achieve and, as long as I cover the essentials, I don’t beat myself up when life gets in the way of ticking off the rest.
My intention had been to produce a blog post and a poem and I mean a properly thought out poem, not just the throwaway, quickly scrawled efforts that I churn out late on a Friday after a couple of wines. Not one with typos I would have to hastily correct the following morning.
I have started the poem, I have some lines penned and a sense of what it will be, it isn’t quite there yet. It needs more thought, more crafting and I needed a week which was less fraught with work and a weekend when we weren’t redecorating the kitchen to achieve that.
So there are my excuses. I’m just about to put together my list for next week. No prizes for guessing what’s going to be at the top of it.
2020 has been quite the year. It started with a mild hangover, as most years do. Sometimes the hangovers have been raging, but not so with this one. I suffered the standard dull head and sluggishness that greet most New Years’. I also bemoaned the fact that my husband was in a tidying frenzy and I didn’t really want to join in, however I felt guilty not to. I also posted my usual annoyance at (and abhorrence of) the hunting community’s need to go out and rip innocent creatures apart on New Year’s Day. I shall never understand that one and am hoping that their blunders this year may finally mark the beginning of the end for their barbaric choice of pastime. That certainly would be a positive.
This year I had cause to feel proud when my daughter was selected for the England U16 Girls Ice Hockey team again and was later invited to trial for the GB U18 women’s team. She passed her GCSEs and subsequently received an award from the school for her Overall Contribution in her 5 years there. My son completed his A levels and gained his place at University to study Criminology and Psychology. Both he and my daughter have adapted well to the new learning environment and are working hard. As a parent, I cannot ask for much more than that (well maybe for the odd bedroom tidy up).
2020 has seen us spend a lot more time together as a family. Jay’s Online Quiz brought us together as a family on many Thursday nights; we have watched more films together; cooked better and more interesting meals and I think that we have talked more.
In addition to more family time, our numbers also increased, just by one, but what a one she is. After much nagging and moaning by my daughter, quite a bit of research and then a search that wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, we brought home a puppy. We paid a princely sum for what is essentially a mongrel, but she was the perfect mix of breeds to fit into our little home. She is a whirling dervish with bags of character; a kleptomaniac streak that the Artful Dodger would be envious of and an appetite for absolutely anything (edible, inedible – it’s all the same to her!).
During 2020, I have made my mind up, changed it, agreed with people and their ideas, disagreed with them, found common ground (and at times lost it again) far more frequently than in other years. It has been a year of information and disinformation, when my distrust of the powers-that-be has sometimes stood me in good stead and on others lead me to shaky ground. At the end of the day, I can only read up on things, listen, process and then find my own truth.
I always want to achieve something at the end of each 12-month period. It became clear fairly early on that this wasn’t going to be a year for ticking multiple items off of my bucket list, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy a few personal successes. I became a union rep. I learnt to crochet. I learnt to teach online. I read many books and wrote much more than usual. I participated in wellbeing and writing courses then, off the back of that, I finally started my own blog. There is still a lot of work to be done with it and more to learn about the platform that I am using, nevertheless I got it off the ground.
I consequently entered 3 poems into a national poetry competition, they may turn out to not be up to scratch, however I have put them out there for scrutiny all the same. A step forward.
The highlights of the year have definitely been the time spent with family and pets, the dog walks with my parents, the laughs and the camaraderie in our staff workroom at school, the days out with friends, my Smiths teapot from Jo. Scott and I had a couple of days away, we didn’t stray too far, but we got to unwind, eat out and enjoy each other’s company.
Other occasions of note were my Birthday afternoon tea; the boozy afternoon in our local pub (the Messy) with Em and the dodgy gin/wine/fizzy crap we worked our way through in my back garden after. Christmas was unexpectedly awesome too. We all felt spoilt, stuffed and extremely fortunate.
Of course there are activities that I feel I have missed out on and some issues that have caused worry. Generally, I have had it good and overall I have been one of the lucky ones. Therefore, if I am to look back at this year and question whether or not it has been a good one, then I would not hesitate in my response. It may not have always been the kindest but the answer is still, undoubtably a YES.
Poetry for Dullards 
